I've been noticing of late that everything we bother our kids about or get upset with them over, we do ourselves. This realization has sure augmented my ability to be kind to my children and less reactive. It is true for others in my life as well. People are merely mirrors of my own self.
It is easy to see myself reflected in my children. So if I see something I deem negative or worrisome, I can open myself to look at the behavior in a different light and reevaluate it.
Jan 5
It remains. Since New Years. I've felt calmer. More certain. Less reactive. Fear hasn't gripped me. I start to feel a strong emotion such as annoyance or fear or anger, and then I see it. Just see it. And the illusion vanishes. Initially I still feel it, but it doesn't grab me so roughly and it dissipates like so much fog, leaving brilliant shades of peace behind.
Everything I fear is really nothing more than a Boggart and needs merely to be laughed at and seen as ridiculous.
It feels strange to say, but I feel different. Not a lot. Just a bit. Does it mean anything at all? The thought makes me laugh because it so doesn't matter. I'm just going to enjoy this. Bask in this. Try to cultivate it, like a most precious seed entrusted to my care. I will just enjoy my family. Our life. Our health and abundance. This feeling of peace and love that feels like a subtle current running through all things.
I will just be love. Until I'm not. Then I'll notice that too. Just see. Just be.
It is so all good.
I am so happy with where you are and yes, it all makes sense. You will continue to feel different as you travel further along this path. It is absolutely fascinating to watch you grow and and mature. I shouldn't, but I feel so very proud of you!
ReplyDeleteWhat you are experiencing I can very much relate to in Buddhist practices. Bohdicchita and a practice of emptiness and impermanence is what you are realizing and on the road to achieving. So lucky I am to have such a wonderful daughter as a role model ;).
Thank you for who you, Sean, Summar, Aidan and Cai are. You make me glow in happiness with your wisdom and you all teach me so much. :)
:)) Thank YOU for who YOU are dear mother. You are amazing and I love you so much I'm fit to bursting with it. <3
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