I've been noticing of late that everything we bother our kids about or get upset with them over, we do ourselves. This realization has sure augmented my ability to be kind to my children and less reactive. It is true for others in my life as well. People are merely mirrors of my own self.
It is easy to see myself reflected in my children. So if I see something I deem negative or worrisome, I can open myself to look at the behavior in a different light and reevaluate it.
It remains. Since New Years. I've felt calmer. More certain. Less reactive. Fear hasn't gripped me. I start to feel a strong emotion such as annoyance or fear or anger, and then I see it. Just see it. And the illusion vanishes. Initially I still feel it, but it doesn't grab me so roughly and it dissipates like so much fog, leaving brilliant shades of peace behind.
Everything I fear is really nothing more than a Boggart and needs merely to be laughed at and seen as ridiculous.
It feels strange to say, but I feel different. Not a lot. Just a bit. Does it mean anything at all? The thought makes me laugh because it so doesn't matter. I'm just going to enjoy this. Bask in this. Try to cultivate it, like a most precious seed entrusted to my care. I will just enjoy my family. Our life. Our health and abundance. This feeling of peace and love that feels like a subtle current running through all things.
I will just be love. Until I'm not. Then I'll notice that too. Just see. Just be.
It is so all good.